Agreeing to Sympathize

In Job 2.11, we read about Job's three friends who "met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him." They had "heard about all the troubles that had come upon him..."

Okay, that's a good start. Your friends hear about your troubles and decide to come to you and comfort you. That sounds good. That sounds comforting. The friends arrive, can hardly recognize you from all you have gone through and begin to weep over you.

The friends gather around Job and sit silently for seven days. Job starts to 'vent' to his friends about how he wished he'd never been born. Wow! That's more than his friends could handle. They couldn't let Job go on like this. He might get suicidal or something. He might be overheard by someone and thought to be a complainer and not much of a role model. 

Let's forget about Job for awhile and go back to talking about you...why can't these friends just continue to be silent, or cry, or just give you a big hug and let you vent for awhile? You know you aren't going to do anything drastic and really don't feel as irrational about these things as you probably sound. You just need to express your frustration as poignantly as possible. It's your roar of the soul, the cri de coeur, the wail of your anguish and distress. You just need to get it out! 

So many folks seem compelled to use this "comforting" opportunity to point out certain things to you...

   You are a Christian and know better than this! Where's your faith?!

   You aren't as good as you let on to be! There is something you aren't confessing!

   Perhaps we, as your friends, need to point out some of your problems to help you!

Aren't you blessed to have friends?! If your troubles weren't enough, you really didn't need to even know that your friends saw you in this way, much less hear about it during this particular time. Not that there would ever be a good time for such a perspective.

For some of us there would be the temptation to think, "just let me get a chance some day to say what I think of you! What makes you think you're so great?! You're not so lily-white yourself, buck-O!" 

Been there? Probably. Maybe even recently. Let's get the message out. Comforters are needed! Comforters do their best work very, very quietly...maybe even silently. Lecturers aren't the same as comforters. Fault-finders need to get lost! Folks need to just go away if they think this is a vulnerable moment for you and therefore an opportunity for them to feel superior.

The best exhortation from scripture for real comforting is weeping with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who celebrate. Too many of us have grown up around the "boot-strap" mentality, hearing "they don't need sympathy, they need a good swift kick..."

Don't you just love being around those kind of folks? There are too many Christians ready to give the "swift kick" and too few ready to offer real comfort and sympathy.

"Beloved, let us love one another."