"Looking back" 

In the words of Charles Dickens, it's been "the best of times and the worst of times..."

I'm generally amused at folks' attempts at New Year's Resolutions. I'm also generally opposed to such attempts of futility.

Most of the resolutions I hear about have to do with quitting something or losing something. It almost always has something to do with habits or appearances.

In our society there's a tendency toward optimistic anticipation of a new and better whatever. In our society we rarely want to change any of the parameters, just the outcomes.

Years ago I was practicing my golf swing before time for my partner and I to tee off in a tournament. My partner asked what I thought I was doing, to which I replied that I was practicing my swing. His response was that I shouldn't, because it was a lousy swing.

I never got better at the game because I never changed my swing...my excuse was that nothing else felt "natural."

I've experienced the anger of folks who attended parenting classes I've taught in years gone by. What right did I have to try to tell them how to raise kids???

Let's see...

    a) their kids are in a lock-down under court order, 

    b) the parents are in the class because they, too, were ordered to be there - 

    c) my kids are grown and successful. 

What right did I have to tell them how to raise kids? Interesting but not very funny.

Fortunately I was being paid for my time, otherwise it would have been a total waste of time. I was told repeatedly that they didn't need anyone telling them how to raise their kids. I've also been told that I was just lucky. 

Actually, the 'luck' part was that Jean consented to marry me. The 'parenting' part was the result of lots of deliberation and effort on our part, together. Not all of it was 'good' parenting...we've been able to see that as we look back.

However, back to my feelings about the many dozens of resentful parents - I'm reminded of Paul's writing to the church at Corinth (II Corinthians 11:19-20) where he accuses them of "suffering fools gladly..." - I don't.

I recently read a line on a blog which said that the IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.

Yes, this past year has been the best of times - and then it has had its moments. 

There were unavoidable sorrows such as the pain of death, disease, accidents, devastated marriages, abandoned wives and children, and eliminated jobs... situations that are so heavy, sometimes seemingly beyond the ability to bear. There were also many moments brought on by people refusing to change their lousy 'swing.' 

Sometimes we need to look back and take it all in. We need to accept our own responsibility in what didn't work and change the parameters (change our swing) in order to improve our game. The changes will probably not, initially, feel 'natural.'

There are always reasons why things turn out the way they do...it's called cause and effect. Sometimes those causes are way beyond our control, sometimes they aren't.

It is foolish (that which is practiced by a fool) to expect any change in the events and outcomes of this coming year if we don't change some of the ways we have done things the past.

Some of us, in looking back, shouldn't suffer ourselves gladly. 

It is never too late to change.