Giving Thanks...

Thanksgiving, the holiday, ranks right up there with Christmas in my estimation. The experiences of family gatherings, traveling, holiday cheer, cold walks across musty fields, indescribably delicious pies and cakes...the great annual announcement that THE HOLIDAYS were here!

It was never difficult to be thankful on Thanksgiving. I loved hearing the stories and laughter that always accompanied any gathering of my mother's family. I could tell those stories by memory, yet there was always the joy of getting mom's brothers and sisters to tell the stories again. There were the special dishes and delicacies that different family members were so well known for...we would always say, "I hope Aunt JoAnn is bringing..." and "Nobody makes...like..." and so the conversation would go until we had named virtually everything we could think of that was uniquely and particularly the fare of this great time of year.

We would be so excited about seeing cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. We could hardly wait to hear, each year, where the Thanksgiving family gathering would be. Whether in Wichita, Kansas City, or the Ozarks, the excitement was always the same because regardless of the location it was the family "gathering."

Those were years of simple pleasures. The pleasures had to be simple because we hadn't much money. Our religion was fairly austere so occasions for fun precluded distractions from life that most of our neighbors included in their lifestyle. We probably were viewed as poor by most of those who knew us. I didn't have a clue as to our status in society. I didn't even know what "society" was. I felt rich.

We were a blue-collar family. An "education" to us meant those who had been fortunate enough to finish high school. The high school graduation of a family member was another big event, to be followed by the biggest of events - a wedding.

We were happy for one another's accomplishments and celebrations...new jobs, promotions, births, new houses, "new" cars, new dreams, new associations, newly acquired mobility and "wealth." Actually, due to the closeness of the family unit, these opportunities for celebration caused much joy and pride on a very regular basis. This was an upwardly mobile family coming out of the hills of the Ozarks with dreams and appetites and a zest for life.

Yes, it was easy to be thankful. What happened to those years? Our opportunities for pleasure are now innumerable. It's increasingly more difficult to find someone who is polite enough to listen to your stories...it isn't even considered socially correct to be a "talker" (someone who enjoys what used to be called the "art of conversation"). I observe most people tolerating, at best, other's accomplishments and not having time for celebrations that involve more than just a drop-in type reception.

There is an acute awareness of haves and have-nots and what seems to be a growing intolerance for those who aren't suave and socially ept or politically correct. I see very little joy and far more entitlement than thanks-giving.

Perhaps it's time for a return to the simplicity of treasuring relationships rather than developing relationships based upon the presumption of treasure. Maybe we should learn the value of basing our view of one another upon tolerance, acceptance and forgiveness rather than seeing someone as a rung in a ladder or a connection in a network.

What would happen if we found joy in listening to someone's story? We would give that person an immeasurable sense of value. What worth we will feel as we enjoy the pleasure of people more than things, of relationships more than recreation or entertainment.

Why not start by penciling a list of gratitudes? An old, misplaced friend (I no longer know where he is) used to talk about developing an "attitude of gratitude." I'm thankful for his influence in my life those many years ago...I wish I knew whatever happened to him. Oh, how many I have allowed to slip away.